Men’s Work

It is very common for men to feel overwhelmed about emotional material. In the current culture men aren’t taught how to process their emotions, and they certainly aren’t taught how to manage the emotional needs of the women in their lives. This can set them up for frustrating relationships where they feel they are doing their best and still not getting the connection they want. As a couple’s therapist I see men whose main relationship complaint is that their partners think they do everything wrong. Men work very hard to get things right and still often end up feeling unappreciated and criticized. They are neither getting their own needs met, nor are they able to meet their partner’s needs.

Part of our work as humans is learning what we need to feel happy and healthy. You might think that you already know what you need, but honestly, many people don’t.  Men will say they are “simple,” meaning they have straightforward needs and are easy to read. While this may be true, there is often more going on under the surface of their emotional lives than they are aware. For instance, men require much more love and nurturing than they or their partners expect. In not asking for this kind of care, men forget they need it, and so do women!

Perhaps you are one of the many people who don’t really know what you want. Perhaps you aren’t sure about your job, your partner, or have bad feelings about an old incident. Individual men’s work can help sort out the layers of feeling so that decisions can be made about where to go next.

Men’s work is designed to help you understand why you are feeling what you feel. It is practical, hands-on and direct. Therapy is about two things: 1) Figure out what you need, and 2) Find a way to ask for it. When you can do that you will be happier, and so will the people in your life.

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